


A Promise

by twocandles



Category: Victoria (TV)
Genre: 2x08 fix it, Angst, Canon Divergence, Drumfred, Drummond miraculously survives, Edward Drummond Lives, Fix-It, I do what I want, Kissing, M/M, Might help here, Non-Graphic Smut, POV Alfred, Panic Attack, Romance, Second Chances, Sorry about the almost woobiefying of Alfred, Suspension Of Disbelief
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-03
Updated: 2018-05-03
Packaged: 2019-05-01 18:29:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,856
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14526576
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/twocandles/pseuds/twocandles
Summary: Drummond makes it to dinner and Alfred's world turns upside down.





	A Promise

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Lucky_Moony](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lucky_Moony/gifts).



> "Scotland is a long way from home" my arse. Actually, PBS canon, never heard of it...
> 
> Lucky_Moony asked for this. The dedication, not the fic, lol. No one asked for this mess. Thank you for listening to my yelling and for cheering me on. <3

The evening turned out very differently than Alfred had expected. Certainly, there had always been the possibility that Drummond wouldn’t show up at all, and Alfred’s had a low feeling of dread in his stomach for hours. But he was not prepared for the actual events that the evening would bring. 

He softly rubbed the petals of the flowers between his fingertips, so smooth to the touch but so fragile in its softness. His stomach was doing somersaults, just not necessarily in the good way. He might have been too harsh, his words too blunt, and his letter too little too late. 

As the clock kept ticking and the hour kept passing and the chatter in the restaurant grew louder he found his heart sinking. He might have ruined the best thing that had happened in his life in recent years. 

But just then he felt a soft touch on his shoulder, Drummond’s hand as he gently apologised for being late. And it was then that Alfred’s world turned on its head. The boyish glint in Drummond’s eyes was bright as ever and he smiled warmly at Alfred, but he was out of breath and dishevelled in the most subtle way that only the closest observation would uncover. It took Alfred a moment. And then he spotted it. The cravat on his collar was the slightest bit out of order, unhinged but not loose. Like there was a tear in the fabric but it was still holding together at its core. Add to that, his hair was a little out of order and if the dim light wasn’t fooling his eyes there was even a smidgen of dirt on his clothes. 

“Are you all right? What happened?” He asked quietly, alarm bells ringing in his ears. 

Drummond must have sensed the concern and grew serious. “There was an incident outside parliament. Just when we left the building a man took a shot at Sir Robert and I pushed him out of the way. In that moment the bullet grazed my neck, and then I landed on the ground. After that it was a big kerfuffle, a pandemonium, really. But miraculously no one was hurt. No one was hit by the bullet. I suppose it found its rest in the brick work of parliament.”

He was as lively as ever now and talking animatedly. But Alfred had grown pale, paler than he remembered being in a long time.  

“Needless to say, the attacker was captured and taken into police custody, and they were taking statements on the spot so I couldn’t get away sooner. I’m sorry to have kept you waiting, I’ve been looking forward to this ever since I received your letter this afternoon.”

Alfred’s blood was running cold and a lump formed in his throat. For a moment he wasn’t even sure he was breathing anymore. He had to cough before he managed to get any words out. 

When they finally came his voice was shaking. “I’m so glad to see you alive.” 

But after that his throat felt constricted again and all he could do was stare into Drummond’s eyes in sheer terror. His hand was twitching involuntarily and he wanted nothing more than to reach out across the table to touch him. It was already moving with a mind of its own before he directed it to his glass of champagne instead, clinging to the stem as if to support himself and stop himself from shaking. 

“I’m fine, please do not worry,” Drummond said gently, as if sensing that Alfred needed the reassurance. “Shall we order?” 

Alfred still couldn’t speak and gave a quiet nod instead. 

When their dinner arrived and their glasses were filled Drummond raised his to a toast. 

“I would like to use this occasion to celebrate and to acknowledge how grateful I am. So here’s to the bill passing. To being alive. And most importantly, to us both being here tonight.” His voice turned quiet at that but he looked at Alfred intensely. 

Alfred raised his own glass, eyes fixated on Drummond. He nodded at him in acknowledgement and wished they weren’t in public right now. There were so many things he wanted to say but couldn’t, so he settled on the most inconspicuous. 

“To life. And to miracles.” 

Because this was a miracle if ever he’d seen one. 

When they clinked glasses their eyes never left the other, both so very aware that their lives could have taken a very different path just an hour ago, that just a few millimetres could have changed their fates entirely.

The champagne sparkled softly on Alfred’s tongue but it did nothing to calm his mind. And his body was rebelling, his insides a twist of jittery nerves, he felt like jumping out of his skin and it took all his strength not to let on. He wanted to reach over again, reassure himself that Drummond was really here, that his skin was warm and that he was indeed alive. 

And with that internal struggle he grew silent. So silent that even Drummond noticed.

“You’re awfully quiet.”

He locked eyes with him again and in that moment the words fell from his lips before he could catch himself. Before he had even consciously acknowledged them in his own head. 

“Stay the night.” 

It had been brewing inside him all along, that subtle craving, that quiet need. And then he was both terrified at his sudden outburst of emotions and pleading all the same that Drummond would agree and spend the night with him. 

It was only when Drummond nodded that he realised he had stopped breathing again. He inhaled deeply and nodded back at him, eyes soft with gratefulness. 

He started feeling calmer again, relief washing over him, the tension draining from his frame. 

They started talking again, the mood lighter than before. No serious topics where touched upon though, it was as if they instinctively knew that this wasn’t the place nor the time for them at this very moment. 

 

Now they were walking the streets of London, by mutual understanding heading in the direction of Alfred’s flat. The night air brought a fresh breeze, it wasn’t cold but Alfred shivered all the same. He picked up speed, a nagging feeling in the back of his head urging him to move faster, to get to their destination as soon as possible. 

It was then that Drummond’s words registered in his brain.

“Alfred, could you slow down a little, please? I’m in no hurry.” 

And with that Alfred realised it was like an invisible force was driving him forward. After a few steps he came to a halt, Drummond stilling beside him. 

It took him another moment to speak. “I must apologise. I…” But he was at war with his head again and couldn’t find any more words. He took Drummond in, eyes wandering from his face to his neck and staying there, and then he noticed that his own fingers were twitching again. His arm, his entire body, even. He was trembling. He wanted to reach out and look at the collar, make sure the skin underneath was unblemished. He wanted to trail his fingers across Drummond’s neck, and maybe not just his fingers if he was honest with himself. That’s why he was in such a rush. He couldn’t wait for the privacy of his own quarters, no prying eyes, no noisy chatter, just the two of them, alone and free to be themselves.

But he couldn’t say any of this. He swallowed and hoped that the softness in his eyes would convey the meaning of his words more clearly. 

“I just can’t wait to be home.” 

‘With you,’ he didn’t say. 

Drummond nodded. And then became contemplative. “I suppose I just wanted to enjoy the night air for a while longer. After everything that happened today…,” he paused for a moment, fumbling for the words. “I find myself feeling more keenly now, I’m suddenly so much more aware of my surroundings. In a way I perceive life more consciously, if that makes sense to you?”

“And I suppose I just want to take it all in, soak it up as much as possible for as long as my senses are still this heightened.”

The attempt on his life had shaken him up more than he let on earlier then. Alfred nodded at him, eyes brimming with unspoken feelings now. There was no way he would say no to him.

“Of course.” 

They continued their walk, silent but so much more in tune than before. And they were close, so close that occasionally their arms would touch and Alfred found his own senses acutely aware of Drummond’s proximity. By chance their fingers brushed and it sent a bolt of electricity through Alfred’s body, his nerves tingling all over, the intimacy of the touch almost overwhelming. It didn’t exactly contribute to calming himself down. Instead the anticipation grew and he struggled to not increase the speed of his steps again. He wanted nothing more than to arrive at his flat now. He thanked his lucky stars that they only had two more streets in front of them and then finally. 

 

And then finally the dam broke. 

The moment the door closed behind them Alfred pushed Drummond against the sturdy wood and laid his lips on his. The swiftness of his move made it all the more forceful and caught Drummond very much by surprise. But it only took a moment until he responded and their mouths met again and again, this time with gentle pressure. It quickly turned more heated as Alfred found himself ravenous and desperate for more. He slid a hand into Drummond’s hair to steady himself and then fully pressed their bodies together, his other hand settling on Drummond’s back. It was delightful. Drummond’s arms closed around him and Alfred thought that not even an earthquake would manage to shake them apart now. 

He became more daring and slid his tongue along Drummond’s lip, eliciting a moan from him. He took the chance and pushed his tongue deeper, touching Drummond’s now and it set all his nerve endings aflame again. He tasted the oysters and the champagne and wanted to drown in their kisses. They were both making tiny noises now and Drummond’s hands moving along his back had Alfred pressing even closer to him. Alfred’s hands settled on Drummond’s neck when he had to break their kiss in need for air. His heart was racing but he didn’t move away. They were breathing in unison, still in each other’s arms, willing their bodies to calm down.

A long minute passed before Alfred managed to speak, his voice rough and deep.

“Maybe we should take this to the bedroom?” 

“I would like that.” 

Drummond’s voice was like silk in his ears. 

“Just give me a moment and I shall light us the way.” 

It was dark in the hallway and even though their eyes had slowly adjusted to the darkness he didn’t want Drummond to stumble his way through the flat. 

He fumbled for the lighter in his coat and it took him a few tries to ignite the flame.

“Do you want me to give you a hand?” 

Alfred couldn’t help but smirk at those words but just then the flame rose and he put his focus on the side table to light the wick of a long white candle. It came alight in a mere second.

When he turned around he stopped dead in his tracks though. The candlelight cast eerie shadows across Drummond’s face, the flame flickering back and forth, illuminating hollow cavities and sunken eyes, a skull seemingly empty and devoid of life. He might as well have been a ghost. Or worse.

The image burnt itself into Alfred’s retinas and reality crept back into his bones. And then it suddenly didn’t, because he was sure he saw Drummond talking but he couldn’t hear any of the words. The world had just stopped. 

And so had his breathing. He felt like choking, as if no air was reaching his lungs and it took a few moments until Drummond got through to him. 

“Alfred, breathe.” 

“Take a deep breath.” 

And he did as told, inhaling all the way in until he reached the crucial point where he finally felt air flooding his lungs again. 

“And another one.” 

This time it was easier, and Drummond’s voice was calming his mind, too. 

He did it a few more times, slowly breathing in and out again. And in, and out. In, and out. 

As he came back to his senses he realised he had been clutching Drummond’s arm tightly. And he still couldn’t let go. He was still tense, his mind was still reeling from the terror of what could have been. 

“Drummond…”

His voice was hoarse and rusty and the words almost stuck on his tongue. He tried again.

“Edward… You could have died.”

“I could have lost you and…” He swallowed hard.

“I could have lost you, and the last thing you would have remembered was me rejecting you.” 

Realisation was hitting him hard now and he had to take another deep breath to steady himself.

“Alfred, listen to me.” He felt soft fingers on his cheek then but couldn’t look him in the eyes just yet. “I knew. The moment I received your letter I knew you were giving us a second chance.” 

And then he did look up. And saw softness and warmth there, pure and unabashed. And in one swift move he planted his lips on Drummond’s and put his arms around him, never wanting to let go again. The relief of those words was overwhelming. 

“I love you,” he whispered quietly against soft lips. He had not said those words before and would never forgive himself if Drummond never heard them from him. 

“I love you too.”

The words danced along his lips like a balm and a caress and were then quickly followed by another kiss.  

They stayed in their embrace for long minutes, leaning their foreheads together and swaying almost imperceptibly, like on that day at the lake in the warm evening breeze of midsummer, and it was in this moment that Alfred finally felt at peace.

 

When they finally did make it to the bedroom Alfred closed the curtains and made sure to light all the candles in the chamber. He did not need another fright like he had just lived through; he did need to see Drummond in all his brightness.

Drummond picked up a candle and lit it on Alfred’s to help him, and soon enough they found themselves in each other’s arms again. As Drummond leaned in for another kiss Alfred’s hand wandered into his hair, and then slowly down to his neck, resting there while he reluctantly let go of Drummond’s lips and pulled away enough to take him in. His eyes drifted to Drummond’s collar.

“Let me see?” 

Drummond nodded.

And then his fingers explored the silky band of the cravat. It was looser now and indeed he found a tear in the fabric. He gently undid the tie and started pulling it off Drummond’s neck. There were two holes, he noted, from where the cloth was wrapped around on top of each other. Drummond eyed it warily before Alfred let it slip to the floor. 

“I’m not sure it’s still useable.” 

“You can have one of mine.” 

Alfred gave him a small smile but he was still too occupied with inspecting the collar to note the impact his words had on Drummond. 

The shirt was completely intact, not the slightest sign of damage. He hurriedly undid the top buttons and pushed it down to expose Drummond’s neck. Not a single scratch. He gently slid his fingers across the skin and it was warm and soft and he could even sense the pulse underneath it, pumping blood through the veins, keeping him alive. His brain finally caught up with him and he sighed heavily in relief, his heart lighter than it had been in hours. Drummond was fine, and he silently thanked God for being blessed like this.

Then he pulled him in for a sizzling kiss that left them both breathing hard and in dire need for more. And before he knew it their hands were everywhere at once, pulling off their coats and grasping at shirt hems and too many buttons and then one by one discarding all their clothes, leaving them in a tangled heap on the floor that made it impossible to discern where one fabric started and the other ended. 

And that is how they found themselves in Alfred’s bed at long last, finally free to kiss and touch and caress, the pressure of their bodies together a blessing if ever he knew one. 

Alfred’s mouth moved from Drummond’s lips to his chin and down to his neck, kissing the exact same spot that his fingers had explored a few minutes earlier. Drummond gasped and made the loveliest noises and it spurred Alfred on, he wanted to hear more of these sounds from him, they were like music in his ears. He moved further down and kissed his way along Drummond’s chest, stroking his sides with his hands and resting them on his hips after a while. He was on his way south but Drummond stopped him, urging him to come back up.

“Too much?” 

Maybe he had been going too fast. 

“I just… I need to feel you closer.”

And with that he pressed their bodies together again, drawing a moan from Alfred’s mouth this time. He felt so good, warm and soft and strong all at once, Alfred couldn’t get enough of him.

Drummond rolled them on their sides and soon they had their hands all over each other, setting off sparks with each new touch of skin on skin. Their legs entwined and they were rocking into each other, feeling the pressure build and build. 

It was unlike their first time in Scotland. It had been soft and slow then, with Alfred leading the way. Now Drummond seemed insatiable, kissing him hungrily, his touches growing bolder and bolder by the minute, and as he took matters into his own hand Alfred could do nothing but cling on to him, riding out wave after wave of pleasure and panting heavily against Drummond’s lips. It didn’t take long until Drummond followed him, moaning Alfred’s name as he found his own release in Alfred’s arms. 

They stayed entangled like this for a while longer, their pulses and their breathing slowly returning back to normal. Alfred could have drifted off like this but he willed himself out of Drummond’s arms.

“Won’t be a moment,” he whispered into Drummond’s skin.

And with that he got up and tried to locate his own shirt in the pile of clothes abandoned on the floor, wiped himself clean and then returned to the bed to do the same for Drummond. He discarded the shirt on the floor and left the bed again to blow out the candles.

“This is more than just a moment by now.” Drummond’s voice was playful in his teasing. Alfred couldn’t help but look back and smirk at him, and it was then that he noticed that Drummond was definitely enjoying the view. 

“You don’t look like you’re complaining though,” Alfred quipped, his eyes gleaming with amusement. And at that he swore he saw Drummond’s cheeks turn red but the growing darkness in the room made it hard to be sure and the flickering candlelight might have been playing tricks on him again.

When he returned to the bed he left a single candle burning on the nightstand and slipped under the covers next to Drummond, wasting no time in kissing him again. He had definitely been blushing and it made Alfred smile against his lips. And by now the darkness didn’t faze him anymore, he felt so much calmer than before. So calm and relaxed that he couldn’t stifle a yawn and buried his head in Drummond’s neck. Drummond chuckled at that and Alfred sighed, not quite wanting this evening to end just yet. He propped himself up on one arm to take him in again and let his fingers slide across those striking cheekbones before closing the distance once more, their kissing soft and sweet now, unhurried and gentle. And then it was Drummond’s turn to yawn, the events of the day finally taking their toll on both of them. 

Alfred smiled and gave him another peck, then moved to blow out the last candle, wrapping them in darkness once more. 

He snuggled close again, pressing his body against Drummond’s and laying his head on his chest. It made him notice the rise and fall of his breathing, reassuring him again that Drummond was alive and well in his arms. He kissed the soft skin, then rested his palm above his heart, gently moving his thumb back and forth. His heartbeat was like music in Alfred’s ears. Drummond was drawing soft circles on his back and it was all so calming it almost lulled him to sleep, but then Drummond’s other hand tensed on Alfred’s arm and he knew something was bothering him.

“What’s wrong?” 

He moved his head a little to look at Drummond, his form visible enough in the dark by now.

Drummond sighed. 

“The engagement, I…”

But he trailed off, the words dying on his tongue. Alfred flinched, his hand clenching above Drummond’s heart. Of course. Of course that’s what was on his mind. Reality always crept up on them in the end. 

It must have been eating away at him for the longest time now, and Alfred had done his fair share of increasing the pain and uncertainty. It was one of the things he was least proud of, even if he had done it to protect both of them. But if he could undo at least some of the damage, now was the best time to start.

He sat up again, leaning on his elbow.

“We’ll figure it out. Maybe not tonight, but we’ll find a way, and we’ll find it together. And no matter what you decide, I’ll be there, I promise.”

“You do?”

“I do.”

He was not letting Drummond go again, not after almost losing him. It was clear to him now that he wanted to spend his life with him, and even if that meant all they could share were secret glances across rooms and stolen moments behind closed curtains it was all better than nothing. 

Drummond’s fingers wrapped around Alfred’s hand, the hand that was still lingering above Drummond’s heart and he squeezed it tightly, creating a bond that linked them together. 

Alfred leaned in for another kiss and was sure they would have continued kissing for a long time had it not been for the tiredness that was consuming them now. 

When they finally drifted off to sleep they were still wrapped in each other’s arms, safe and warm, their breathing calmed and their minds at peace. 

 


End file.
